Football:1

Five footballers NEVER to have played in the World Cup.

1. George Best
2. Eric Cantona
3. Ryan Giggs
4. Jean-Pierre Papin
5. David Ginola

Strangely enough, three are Manchester United legends.

One ups...( thanks Atrida)

The two instances of somebody gaining one-up on wat in kolkata we would generally classify as “Dalals”( not the Mithunda variety though)

1. An old gentleman,father of one of our mutual friends was huffing and puffing his way up to the Mall in Darjeeling when out of the Thin Air( no pun) materialized a puny character in a dirty jacket… wat followed was utter mayhem…

Uncle Types( UT)..babago aar paari naah…aar koto tah re baba???

Dirty jacket ( DJ) babu...babu...oh babu...

UT: ki holo baba? ( groaning…his way up another bend)

DJ: babu..kanchi laagbey Kanchi>>>

UT: ( too breathless to be outraged) naah baba…ketey poro

Persistent DJ follows

DJ: babu ekdom fresh hobey…ekdom baacha…

UT: ( gasping for breath at a turn)

“ kanchi toh chai naah….kintu ekta BENCHII jogar korey ditey paarbey ???”

DJ vanishes rapidly in to the evening mist.

2.This one concerns a rather grizzled quizzard of Kolkata, one reputed to have pummeled the Security officer and driver of some All India Service officer,for disregarding traffic rules at Park Street.

This rather hefty and honorable gentleman n his friend, after a rather heavy meal at Mocambo, were walking towards their car parked at Middleton Row, when they were joined in their wake by a shady character peddling(!) even murkier wares.

O.Q n Pal: Ki chai??

S.C: babu laagbey naaki?

O.Q : Ki ???? ( brain function dimmed by too much of greasy muck)

S.C: jai chai..college girl…housewife…jah laagbey hobey…

O.Q : dhur saala..paala ekhon…

Meanwhile they have crossed Park Street and are bang in front of Music World,ambling towards Peter Cat wer the vehicle is kept.

S.C : babu..ki laagbey bolun naah…saara raater jonno chai? College-girl…Miss Calcutta?Tao hoye jaabey…rates ekdom bhalo…bhalo jinis paaben..bolun naah.. Ki

laagbey…

Now our mutual friend is at the and of his patience.Wit n sense of humor still intact

though!

O.Q: (in his smoothest voice, with hand on the shady characters` shoulder)

Ogulo toh chai naa..kintu tomakey ki pawas jaabey???

S.C.: cheeeeecheeee( electrified) lojjja korey naah??/

Cheeeeecheeeee…(.backing up rapidly) chee cheee…bhodrolok naah aaro

kichu.?….

Bliss is

no..am not talking bout the windows default wallpaper...

1. wen VPN is not conecting,so I neednt/cant open Outlook express...

2.the swooshing sound of my Dreisigacker concept II hatchets on the placid waters of the lake...

3.the crackling of leaves on under my sneakers while huffing n puffing round the lake.

4.the snarl of my yamaha in 2 nd gear( pulsar anyone???)

5.being able to work out a real toughie posed by Jayashreedi/Shouvikda/Abuda...

6.Cello Kabab at PC...

aauwwww..VPN is back...
back to work...

lessons from Orkut...

this online community has taught me some hard lessons

1.never talk to any unknown/semi-known female...you may end up trying to explain Douglas Adams to them.

2. never accept invitations from ppl who have pics of filmstars/hot babes/death metal artists as thier profile pic.

3. never discuss Quizing funda in scrap books....
there are saner ppl around...not everyone understands the RHINO-BULL and ADIDAS fundas...

4.never visit someone`s profile just because some nerd i know knows him/her...

5.never join a community cause some female you have taken a fancy to is a member of it...females become member of SUZLON/BCG/KPMG/ABB communities cause they think mech engg/investment bankers need visual viagra...we are NOT interested in part-time jobs which MIGHT pay us 30000+ per month...we are part of our organisations online community...not some same-sex fetish club...

5.never try for blind dates..dates are blind...the eye-opener is your credit-card bill...

6.lastly...never visit your ex-flame`s profile...her name on the list of my profile visitors have given me a bad case of Acidity...

inside stuff

if somebody is looking for the corporate withe shittest

1.Corporate Social Responsibility
2. Corporate Governance
3.Transparency
4.Retention/attrition rate.
5. Joke of an HR policy.
6. Underpaying.

Look no further.
look at the one i work for.

Land grabbing...yes
bribing on a mass-scale...yes...
bending rules...YES.
going back on promises...han bhai haan...
nepotism...sure
leave it or fuck off policy...roger that...

worst part is we have the best qualified and most dedicated team led mostly by a pack of Gutkha-chewing managers,who dont realise the simple fact that their strange antics really hurt the overall image of the MNC....
hate to see hot-shot managers squirm and look away when the Boss-Guy starts chewing Gutkha during a meeting...

Respectable CMD...
please do somethingg...really loved it when u were the hands-on boss...
lead the way../
all the way....
Amen....

Water Mgmt...???CII( why???)

Some misbegotten morn from CII Kolkata chapter wants me to attend some shit seminar on " water Management in 21st Century" at the park.
Who the fuck gave him my office id.???( ITFM_PUNE...grrrrrrrrrrrrr)
Who pays to go to Park?
Who cares for some crap organised by CII,Kolkata chapter???
Feels creepy to know some clerk at some Lobbying platform has my Email id.
feels even creepier to know he knows " ami ektu jolopothey jai".
He even knows i go to the Park regularly.

Is the big brother watching?
who?
wo?
wat>?
Wer???????????

need to unplug the compu,throw away the Credit Cards, and even my employee id.

take out the bike.
ride to goa////

just lose myself in the crowd.

the KID GAL...as tommy would say...

i cant be like the silent Rothschild...i really dont want ot call her the day before her marriage and tell her" i cant come to youe wedding,cause you were the one lady i wanted in my life"...
The Rothschild is strong....maybe stoic...i certainly am neither.
So i would rather make ann effort right now and just tell her what my feelings are like.
i have always loved her for the last 8-9 odd years,loved her to destruction..almost.
barely came back from the brink.
Loved.
fell from grace.
survived.
i have nothing to lose.
i am beyond loosing anything more.
so might as well tell her everything.
how i went green in envy.
how i went insane in jealousy.
a cool head would have helped matters....
but i had no one to confide in...
the gang was clueless...
parents just wanted me to get out of Tech school alive and with a degree...
watever happened on the night of 30 th June 2001 was sheer madness on my part.can never ever forgive myself for shouting at her,for being so mean and sleazy and personal.
i went overload and said things which i can now categorically state is sheer madness...
used to love..had to lose her...

i tried everything to forget her.
eveything i could.
dated a series of pretty girls,smart girls,rich girls...
buti could never forget her.
maybe..
she is unfinished business to me.
i need to close the account.

i could not bring myself to walk into lake club.it hurted like hell.
it really did.
until one day i just dared to do the unthinkable.
i walked into Lake Club and took a rowing membership.
i wanted to put back the pieces of my life.
else its completely a love`s labour lost.
i am a grown-up guy..i cant live liike a zombie,not any more....
not one more day...
the whole quiizing gang has given me strength,confidence and a will to take things as they come.
i was very afraid,maybe mortally afraid of loosing her.

now
i have LOST her.
so, dats all about it.
i miss her every corner of the road,
every nook and cranny of the lake...every course..every day every race.
i just miss her...

i realise its all my fault..how much i try to pass on the blame on my mom////
shit happens...
but i should have acted like an adult...not like an imbecile.

maybe i freakewd her out..more than once...
repeatedly...
but i know she is better than me...nicer than me...more forgiving,sweeter,much more balanced.
atleast i have one bog friend on my side...her MOM...
kakima is a sweet-heart.
dats a big saving grace.

we were young and restless...the age was very bad...
we took independant decisions...some right ,some wrong...
mostly wrong as far my decisions are concerned.
silly me...


now i need to talk to her calmly,sweetly,decently and reasonably.
she will see reason.
reson is the key.
LOVE is a bigger reason.

Who needs a reason when love bites.
love hurts.
i want her back.
period.