Sunday, September 30, 2007

Big bad Brother...or is it A Stupid grt Oaf???

I feel strange,even scared at times when I hear that members of a Certain branch of Kolkata Police make it part of their routine office work to call up and abuse members of the peace-loving( LOVING is the Key-word) public and generally lecture (! ) them about something I consider a very private matter…viz…their love –life.

What kind of a creep does that…are those ppl out of minds to waste their time,tax-payers money and energy medling in someone else`s personal matters…

Through some ppl I know in the Police Dept , I have had first-hand insight of how abusive,thick and insensitive certain sections of the Force can be! Abusive is an understatement, I haven’t heard such colorful language even in a Kolkata Football League Match…
Any person who hasn’t been exposed to the murkier sides of life would feel unwell very rapidly when subjected to a Smooth menacing voice on the other side of the Fone” Laal Bajar thekey bolchiii” …

I would wet my pants if someone ever called me like that…

And for someone who has just taken a boldstep of Not only marrying outside his Religion, but also INTO a one of the most clannish and Conservative societies in the country. He ought to be scared shitless. After such a call, the best thing for him should have been to run,run hard,fast and for a very long time.

But he HAD faith in love,faith in justice,faith in Humnaity.
He just thought he might get away with antagonizing one of the MOST law-bypasing sections of Kolkata…the Marwari businessmen.
With the unholy trio of money-disregard for law- inherent recklesness , a Marwari businessman is the Worst thing that has ever happened to this city.
We Calcuttans just don’t deserve them.Niether did this young couple who had faith in love and its healing capacity. little did this young man realize his Father-in-law wouldn`t think twice before bumping him off…For Mr AT, a widowed Daughter is just another deal gone bad..for the time being that is !

He will find a better deal.For ppl like him,there is always some money to be made out of any deal,even if means selling your old folks down the river…

What is very very scary and appaling is that the Poor youth was hounded by the very ppl who ought to have provided him security in the first place.
The Anti-Rowdy Section of the Detective Dept of Kolkata Police has the express task of keeping Tab on the more unsavoury sections the society. Instead they call up ppl from the Police HQ telephone and abuse and threaten them of grave physical harm and generally discuss their parentage and professional careers.

And the cake is taken by the Comm Of Police, a stupid grt Oaf whose life-time achievement till now had been to be Elevated to the post of the Chief of the local cricket board.
Till now that is! Now he can boldly claim to be the only Cop in the country who comes on Natl tele to proclaim that someone`s private family matter is his area of interest ,and HE n his Dept has the sole authority to interevene in such matters.
PWD go take a hike, dig a drain.generally FUCK OFF!
No Fear,Kolkata Police Is here.

The mutton-headed lump of lard even went to the extent of proclaiming that he will intervene everytime someone falls in love.Mother,I dare you to intervene in mine…I will break ur ass..just dare it…
Well on second thoughts , u probably wont be there to intervene in any thing very shortly.
Mr CP,if u had the real thing in you,you should be trying to get Ranadeb and Macko in to the Indian team instead of this mess.

Probably, he wears Lux banyan n Chaddi.

Shit-head, go buy a Tommy Hilfiger,go undieless…but please don’t meddle in things that don’t bother you…
Look wat a fine mess you have got urself n ur juniors into!

Some of my close friends, all in India Govt Service , are vouching for the fact that the two senior IPS officers potraye by the media s the Big bullies are in fact rather Laid-back nice folks who probably just got presurised by their boss to act this same boss,the afore-mentioned Buffon is trying to bluster his way past a whole gamut of mediamen and the society in general.

But this time Mr Big Brother,u have miscalculated…u n ur Chaddi-yaar just made a very small mistake. U have underestimated the power of Indian youth.
Candle-light vigils in Park Street, public petitions, mass mailers, there is an air of protest mixed with indignant outrage around.

Maybe 5 yrs back,things like this went unnoticed.
Not now.
Not any more.
The same thing happened to Nitish Katara …poor soul paid the price for being just friends with Bharati Yadav, daughter of a rather infamous politician…
Six feet under…

The only difference being this time we calcuttans CARE.
Maybe a bit late. But we are raising our voices.

Khelengey hum jaan se
Khelengey hum shaan se
Nafrat se kya jitna
Jitengey hum Pyar mein

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Sarkari Steed n us

This concerns me a n very good Friend of mine, a rather multi-faceted genuis...
Eats well,drives well, Quizzes well...even plays Squash ( developed a Tennis elbow playing it!) .
Incidentally he is a also an employee of Pratibha Patil.

The culprit steed in question being a rather slow rumbling white Indigo without the customary hood ornament.

Every time the two of us travel it, some tragedy befalls us.

Tragedy 1:

After a long chat over endless cups of filtered black coffee and Dal-fry at his office, we moved towards The Taj to pick up some goodies from the Cake-Shop.
Alas the cake shop being closed we were just driving out ,when our reverie was rather rudely disturbed by the honking and impatient flashing of lights of a car behind us.
My friend immidiately asked his driver to slow down and then hell broke loose...or should i say a barrage of the choicest bengali adjectives were being hurled at us thru the open window of the over-taking Honda.
For Exactly 10 seconds,roughly the time it takes to cross the length of an indigo,
the Buggers Jaw dropped,and he was goading his driver to " step on it"

The next 2 minutes was straight out of a Cheap Hindi filum,the types were good cop is prevented by duty,changing lights and idiotiic pedestrains from tearing thru red light zones.
We stopped at the Red Light near National Library while the Honda just disappered down Alipur Road.

Tragedy 2:

A rather Shiity Monday evening we were driving along the BYpass towards Saltlake when just past the Sonar Kolkata ( Not Sonar Bangla !) a red Maruti materialsied out of nowhere and hit out car.
AC off.
Red Lights On.
Give chase.

Catch Bugger near the stadium.

My Pal n I jump out of the Car,driver runs and blocks the road.

The driver was sweating profusely and the passenger looked like he was having a Myocardial Infarction ...
sweat running down the face, face flushed, eyes goggled at Unknown and rather dangerous results ( Thana, third-degree, Police case, Photo in newspapers,coming out of Sessions court with gamcha/hanky/ Old newspaper on the face) .

Driver" Dada maaney Sir please bhul hoye gechey...maaney i never drive in Kolkata...maaney i am from Bardhaamaan" maaney aar hobey naah...sir please"

We barely controlled ourselves from bursting out in laughter and walked off...
stopped the car in a secluded stop near the SAI campus and ran out of the car bursting at the was THE MOST INNOVATIVE excuse i have ever heard in my life...