lessons from Orkut...

this online community has taught me some hard lessons

1.never talk to any unknown/semi-known female...you may end up trying to explain Douglas Adams to them.

2. never accept invitations from ppl who have pics of filmstars/hot babes/death metal artists as thier profile pic.

3. never discuss Quizing funda in scrap books....
there are saner ppl around...not everyone understands the RHINO-BULL and ADIDAS fundas...

4.never visit someone`s profile just because some nerd i know knows him/her...

5.never join a community cause some female you have taken a fancy to is a member of it...females become member of SUZLON/BCG/KPMG/ABB communities cause they think mech engg/investment bankers need visual viagra...we are NOT interested in part-time jobs which MIGHT pay us 30000+ per month...we are part of our organisations online community...not some same-sex fetish club...

5.never try for blind dates..dates are blind...the eye-opener is your credit-card bill...

6.lastly...never visit your ex-flame`s profile...her name on the list of my profile visitors have given me a bad case of Acidity...

inside stuff

if somebody is looking for the corporate withe shittest

1.Corporate Social Responsibility
2. Corporate Governance
3.Transparency
4.Retention/attrition rate.
5. Joke of an HR policy.
6. Underpaying.

Look no further.
look at the one i work for.

Land grabbing...yes
bribing on a mass-scale...yes...
bending rules...YES.
going back on promises...han bhai haan...
nepotism...sure
leave it or fuck off policy...roger that...

worst part is we have the best qualified and most dedicated team led mostly by a pack of Gutkha-chewing managers,who dont realise the simple fact that their strange antics really hurt the overall image of the MNC....
hate to see hot-shot managers squirm and look away when the Boss-Guy starts chewing Gutkha during a meeting...

Respectable CMD...
please do somethingg...really loved it when u were the hands-on boss...
lead the way../
all the way....
Amen....

Water Mgmt...???CII( why???)

Some misbegotten morn from CII Kolkata chapter wants me to attend some shit seminar on " water Management in 21st Century" at the park.
Who the fuck gave him my office id.???( ITFM_PUNE...grrrrrrrrrrrrr)
Who pays to go to Park?
Who cares for some crap organised by CII,Kolkata chapter???
Feels creepy to know some clerk at some Lobbying platform has my Email id.
feels even creepier to know he knows " ami ektu jolopothey jai".
He even knows i go to the Park regularly.

Is the big brother watching?
who?
wo?
wat>?
Wer???????????

need to unplug the compu,throw away the Credit Cards, and even my employee id.

take out the bike.
ride to goa////

just lose myself in the crowd.

the KID GAL...as tommy would say...

i cant be like the silent Rothschild...i really dont want ot call her the day before her marriage and tell her" i cant come to youe wedding,cause you were the one lady i wanted in my life"...
The Rothschild is strong....maybe stoic...i certainly am neither.
So i would rather make ann effort right now and just tell her what my feelings are like.
i have always loved her for the last 8-9 odd years,loved her to destruction..almost.
barely came back from the brink.
Loved.
fell from grace.
survived.
i have nothing to lose.
i am beyond loosing anything more.
so might as well tell her everything.
how i went green in envy.
how i went insane in jealousy.
a cool head would have helped matters....
but i had no one to confide in...
the gang was clueless...
parents just wanted me to get out of Tech school alive and with a degree...
watever happened on the night of 30 th June 2001 was sheer madness on my part.can never ever forgive myself for shouting at her,for being so mean and sleazy and personal.
i went overload and said things which i can now categorically state is sheer madness...
used to love..had to lose her...

i tried everything to forget her.
eveything i could.
dated a series of pretty girls,smart girls,rich girls...
buti could never forget her.
maybe..
she is unfinished business to me.
i need to close the account.

i could not bring myself to walk into lake club.it hurted like hell.
it really did.
until one day i just dared to do the unthinkable.
i walked into Lake Club and took a rowing membership.
i wanted to put back the pieces of my life.
else its completely a love`s labour lost.
i am a grown-up guy..i cant live liike a zombie,not any more....
not one more day...
the whole quiizing gang has given me strength,confidence and a will to take things as they come.
i was very afraid,maybe mortally afraid of loosing her.

now
i have LOST her.
so, dats all about it.
i miss her every corner of the road,
every nook and cranny of the lake...every course..every day every race.
i just miss her...

i realise its all my fault..how much i try to pass on the blame on my mom////
shit happens...
but i should have acted like an adult...not like an imbecile.

maybe i freakewd her out..more than once...
repeatedly...
but i know she is better than me...nicer than me...more forgiving,sweeter,much more balanced.
atleast i have one bog friend on my side...her MOM...
kakima is a sweet-heart.
dats a big saving grace.

we were young and restless...the age was very bad...
we took independant decisions...some right ,some wrong...
mostly wrong as far my decisions are concerned.
silly me...


now i need to talk to her calmly,sweetly,decently and reasonably.
she will see reason.
reson is the key.
LOVE is a bigger reason.

Who needs a reason when love bites.
love hurts.
i want her back.
period.

Kolkata Quizzing…the citizens…and the also rans…part 1

( this is a rather humble effort of mine to just jot down a few words about some the rather interesting people I have managed to meet in course of my rather uneventful and thoroughly mediocre quizzing endeavors)


Shouvik Guha aka Holy Smoke, The Great Man.- Civil servant by profession, Quizzard by passion Shouvik Guha`s passion for knowledge,understanding and his absolutely no-airs attitude is what makes him the very best around.
Nothing is too trivial,no knowledge is too esoteric for him.hmmm maybe he cant recognize between Fergie of Black Eyed Peas and Amy Lee of Evenescence …but well that’s about it.
If its to be known and assimilated and shared,SG is the man.
Foor him,the funda is simple.
ITS ON A NEED TO KNOW BASIS AND I NEED TO KNOW.
Mind it,he wont ever remember things that don’t interest him.
Ultimately everything boils down to his basic love for the wide big world of knowledge sharing.He has won everything that can be won in this country and can rightfully claim( which he would never) to be the very best quizzard around.
The very first tijme I met him I in small dusty room in gariahat market, I was just taken aback by his sheer interest to learn. Guess that’s what keeps him going.plus maybe the fact that he absolutely yearns to see Quizzing as a hobby and a sport grow in this part of India once again.

One of the oldst hands in Indian Quizzing,SG`s greatest strength is his open mnd and his ability to learn and come back next time,next quiz.
First quiz we attended was St Paul`s North Point Inter-School Alumni Quiz at the Oberoi where funnily enough I managed to beat him.The real fun started after the Quiz ended.SG,me,Sumantra and some kids just stood around with our tipples and did a whole round on Tintin and Asterix…Feluda too for good measure…we went home reeling…

Later the whole relationship took a different turn when one forgetaable quiz later,he curtly told me and Sumantra to drop in at DI. Holy Cow! SG has invited us kids to DI,the Mecca of Indian Quizzing.Therein started what I can proudly say one the best Teacher-Student relationships in my life…one I never want to end.

At DI,we were party to his rather long cherished dream of Setting up a Quizzing Foundation in Calcutta, a dream he and some other old hands like AB, KB and JaP have discussed for hours over endless glasses of Scotland`s finest and DI`s oiliest.

Though his dream of never been crowned Mastermind India will foreverstay with him,surfacing only with close few over a glass of his favourite,I can proudly say I have sat in quizzies with theVERY Best Quizzard tthis country has ever produced.

Take that!

Yesterday evening in the FM radio some RJ managed to get on air Rakhi Sawant...
the paragon of virtue she is, this marathi female has managed to titilate our rather pure unblemished mind in engg college hostel in more ways than one.
last evening she was rather livid with a director-producer who is threatning(!) to release a film called "OUTSOURCED" in which our dearest rakhi has done some scenes she considers bold...
now our proma donna was unaware of the fact that the director-producer may try to encash on his leading lady`s liplocking endeavours...

i personally cant wait to watch Rakhi Sawant`s first role a leading(!) lady...
brave director-producer bring it on...
once and for all end this starlet with more silicon than a P5 machine`s acting ambitions.
We demand its releaase under Right to Information.

a series of mail: marriage anyone?

Behind this posting lies aseries of mails i exchanged with my best friend Aryabrata, a gem of a person,somebody who manages to hide a very sharp and balanced mind behind a facade of practised and easygoing ignorance to most( not all) worldly matters.

Whenever i am down,out and looking for some real solid advice,arya is the guy i call up.
His clear thinking and simple dedicated line of thought is a welcome break from all the complications of most people around me.
Read on



ok
.But it escapes me why the bright young men of our country,most of whom are capable of 3000-odd lines of complex Java programming or can manufacture a valve/car/turbine as per SIX-SIGMA specifications, are considered NOT GOOD ENOUGH and absolutely incapable of marrying the woman they love???
Is it because these bright young men(BYM) are too self-centred or too nice to open their mouth and rightfully declare their love when the crunch comes???

or is it because...inspite of our big talks of liberalisaton and open society, we are still stuck in 18 th century traditional values as far as the position of women in our society is concerned????

do fathers still consider their daughters as part of the furniture and a burden...something(!) to be disposed off at the earliest opprtunity???
YES...they do.Because we, the BYM of India are not doing anything to prove them otherwise.We are not coming forward and professing our love for these AMAZING YOUNG LADIES,so these fathers have no idea about how much their daughters mean to us...how precious and wonderful they are!so for lack(????) of better alternatives, they marry of their daughters with some loser who has spent all his adolescent and adult life calling up the girls` hostel and asking random females"will you make a meet with me???"
hahahahahahah.
Ki aar bolbo...jaago purush jaago.
COME RISE IN LOVE
dont fall in it.
byomkali

On Tue, 30 May 2006 aryabrata.ray@tatamotors.com wrote :>
Dear satyaki,
May be u are right . But this is a ageless tradition which till this date has kept its standing and has led to many happy>lives . may be it is right that 2 or 3 yrs is not the right time to know a person specially cause>u cannot be as close to a person as u can be after marriage . That why many a love marriage 's break up . Take the case>of shreya only . It was a fairy tale union for her but at this phase of life she is reeling under a sense of rejection and unfound love .>That s life . Its not that i am telling that arranged marriages can bring u lot of happiness or that they are eternal .
>But they too carry a different ideology when it stamps a union of two hence unknown persons in body and spirit .>>
But still I too believe that love marriages are far better than the arranged ones since here the positives and negatives
>are both in ur hands and the future is only urs . good or bad . Still this is the experience of only a lucky few.>
>And I I don't think we are quite lucky in this front .
Hence start to luv arranged marriages . .....>>this is the morale of my reply !!!!!!!!
!>>>Love>>
>Arya>>>>-----

Original Message----->

From: satyaki bhattacharya [mailto:satanbug21@rediffmail.com]>Sent: Monday, May 29, 2006 11:06 PM>

To: aryabrata.ray@tatamotors.com>
Subject: Re: RE:>>>>>
marriages depress me because chances are they are mostly an union of a male and a female who dont know each other.>
they are dragged into it by their parents.
>the girl is giong along because she is lead to believe that the person her parents have chosen for her is BETTER than the person she loves.>
the guy goes along cause he knows the girls dad is giving him a substancial dowry.>plus he has already lost the girl he liked.
Until and unless its love marriage( they rarely are)>its something very depressing for me.>
because its a big compromise
On Sat, 27 May 2006 aryabrata.ray@tatamotors.com wrote

>why do marraiges depress u
especially others ! nijer biya mana galai ghanti can be quite depressing but others can be fun ....> jai hok phone kaj korcha


Original Message----->

> From: satyaki bhattacharya [mailto:satanbug21@rediffmail.com]> >Sent: Friday, May 26, 2006 8:25 PM>
>To: aryabrata.ray@tatamotors.com> >Subject: Re:> >> >> >> >
guru>
ami bhalo aachi
ekhane shob thikthak cholche.>
>may go to kolkata on july 20 th for mashir cheler biye.> >
i hate marriages ,so may not even go.>
>marriages depress me.>
>very much.>
>take care> >
love
sattu